Time and Space according to Juan!

Juan (to Monica) : You going out tonight?

Monica: Maybe

Juan: Yous hasn't been out in for-eva.

Monica: Not really, maybe like 6 weeks?

Juan: Nah man, longer than 6 weeks, you haven't been out in like a month!!!

Wanting...

Nate waits patiently for Juan to arrive in the afternoon to ask him about a "Box Situation".

Finally, Juan walks in the front door...

Nate: Juan, hey, I've been waiting for you all day.

Juan (very emphatically) : WHAT YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE?

LiLo

Kate: Juan they are about to sentence Lindsay Lohan, come watch with me.


Juan: Give her life manz ! That'z it !

Fazbook Profilz

Kate: Juan we found you on Facebook!

Monica: We are going to friend request you now.

Juan: Na man, you too whitz.

I'm not an azzole...

Scene: Monica is sitting outside on the front stairs. Juan is leaning against the railing with butt facing the street. Two attractive women walk by. Monica activates fart machine.

Woman 1: What was that?

Woman 2: (Pointing to Juan) That Man up there!

Woman 1: Asshole!

Juan: That wazn't me. Damnz!!!

spring iz sprung

juan to amy: stephen needs 2 screams on his windows... only one window has a scream, and i need 2 for the othas.

Phonz a ringin...

Monica (answering front phone) : The Colbert Report!
Female on the other line: Is Juan there?
Monica: Yes, may I ask who is calling?
Female: What?
Monica: May I ask who is calling?
Female: His Baby Mama!!!
Monica: Oh, okay, hold on.

Monica walks out to the front stairs and finds Juan there.

Juan: What?
Monica: Baby Mama on the phone for you.
Juan: Oh Shitz!

biggz person

you two arz like twins...cept you the bigger one!

(Juan on Kristin and Monica's resemblance)